Our story
We thought family life would unfold in a fairly ordinary way. Instead, our story took us through grief, waiting, unexpected turns, fostering, adoption and the extraordinary gift of becoming five.
Some journeys do not go where you expected. They become something better, harder and truer.
The plan
Like so many couples, we imagined that family life would simply follow marriage in a fairly natural order.
There were dreams, plans and all the ordinary assumptions people make when they begin building a life together. We did not know then how different our story would become, or how much would need to be laid down before something new could grow.
Grief
The family we imagined did not arrive in the way we expected.
Miscarriage, infertility and loss reshaped our lives in ways that were painful and disorientating. There were questions without neat answers, prayers that felt suspended in the air and the quiet grief of letting go of the life we thought we were heading toward.
This part of our story changed us deeply. It also made space for a different future, though we could not yet see what that future might be.
Turning point
Gradually, another possibility began to take shape.
Through conversations, support and a growing sense that we were being led somewhere new, Fostering for Adoption emerged as a real path forward. It was not a simple answer to pain, and it was not a replacement for what had been lost, but it was a different road.
It invited us to imagine family again, differently, carefully and with a mixture of hope and fear.
Waiting
One of the strangest parts of the journey was making room for children we had not yet met.
There was waiting, planning, uncertainty and the odd mixture of practicality and vulnerability that comes with preparing to welcome children whose stories have already been difficult.
This was not the tidy beginning we once imagined, but it was real, and it was full of purpose.
Family
Family did happen, just not in the way we first expected.
William, Hope and Emily each arrived with their own stories, personalities and needs, and our family was formed in a way that was beautiful, complex, stretching and full of grace.
Becoming a family through adoption did not erase the difficult parts of the journey, but it did reveal a future far richer than the one we had once imagined for ourselves.
The story continues
We wrote How Hard Can It Be? because some stories are too important to keep hidden.
We wanted to tell the truth about grief, fostering, adoption, faith and family life, honestly, tenderly and without pretending it was all straightforward.
Our hope is that this story will help others feel less alone, offer courage to those walking difficult roads of their own, and perhaps open the door to new possibilities.
Read the full story
The book tells you what it felt like.